spc-cu-261-50-0004 morning drive time segment

1 hour about anything. I'm going to have fun fitting a 1 hour segment about peak oil. (Should be plenty scary.)

I'm going to base myself on a morning show for timing of spots (probably basing myself on WNYC or Pacifca or some such public affairs station.)

What's the hokiest call letters I can think of?

WAXY Radio, no, darn.

That's a jock radio in Florida...

Hmm... How would they do it? ... Scared ... Scary ...

Lets see http://www.790theticket.com/shows.php?show=The+Sid+Rosenberg+Show

How does Sid sound? Okay... Or should I say "gevult" He sounds like a New York yid from 14th Avenue in Brooklyn. (Ok, sorry, OY! ... I can woik wi'd dis. No praablem. His name is now Hersel Schmidt. (Obligatory joke reference to how much it cost to get the M put in while his great gram-pappy Shults on his mother's side paid almost as much to get the M taken out.)

His uncle Mel owned an insurance company until all those "pump jockey" kids got burnt up in the fire after and he wouldn't hell he couldn't pay when the car driven by that ol' man drove right into the gas station pumps as the gasoline delivery truck was there, down at the bottom of avenue U. Do you know what gas cost, even way back in 2050? $375 a barrel!!! Instead, he packed up his sister, (its complicated okay? They were orphaned together and he couldn't hardly leave her there to face the mob of bereaved.) They hightailed it to south Florida and hoped the fuzz down there wouldn't extradite him. They didn't. He had left everything and wasn't personally responsible for causing anything, so? What would the charge have been? Being broke? :-)

WAXY is located at 20450 NW 2nd Avenue Miami, FL. 33169

The story is set in 2075.

Oil peaked years ago. The climate has gone to hell. Most of Florida is an oil soaked salty sponge.

The Cubans went home since it turned out Cuba was sitting on a large oil deposit (http://ecoworldly.com/2008/10/19/with-huge-oil-discovery-cuba-will-beat-united-states-to-energy-independence/ How about that for prescience,) and wasn't selling a drop because it was all for local consumption. They figured "Were Cubans, lets get to where the oil is" and they went. There were whole sections of Miami that were deserted now and it was really hard to get good help these days.

What the heck has happened to the "Get up and GO!" spirit? It got up and went...

It got left out in the rain that's falling hard all the time now and eroding the Florida coastline that's left, (which hasn't really recovered since hurricane Beta wiped out the Keys from Key Biscayne to Key West in 2071. They were still fixing the windows on the sky scrapers in downtowm Miami. Not around the studio, which is between Boca Raton and Hialeah, but Sunny Isle beach was now at the studio's front door.)

Top of the hour.

00:00 - 04:00 News (brought to you by "Hugh, Cheatem and Howe, attorney's at law",) consisting of

• international murders/wars over scarse resources, food riots and other such fun overseas, (01:00)
• national murders, (01:00)
• regional murders, (01:00)
• Miami local rapes & murders (sweep week, more rape) (01:00)

04:00 - 05:00 The "Feel Good Minute" brought to you by "Wilkinson's Mortuary"

• Miami local charities in the news (if it bleeds it leads. If it doesn't, its filler. [Uh, considering the sponsor, it's stuffing...]). Today its the Swiftian "Childrens' Aid and Luncheon Ladies Mutual Assistance Society".

05:00 -20:00 Sports chatter brought to you by "Hy's Jai Alai supply, The last place you need to look when you're looking for hard balls, creely", about:

• the Mami Dolphins vs the transplanted California Colts & (03:00)
• the Miami Heat vs the transplanted Seattle Knicks, (03:00)
• interview with "Red Ruffansore" who was head towel boy for the "Heat" before swimming over to the the "Dolphins" (09:00)

20:00 - 24:00 commercials

• Getting rid of water bugs with the " 'Extremo' Deep Frier" (01:00)
• Used Volkswagon ad. Tires are really cheap. (01:00)
• Getting rid of cockroaches the quick and painless way. (01:00)
• Fred's Firearms (01:00)

24:00 - 35:00 Sports Chatter brought to you by " 'Rerun' retread tires! Tired tires? Retread 'em" about

• the Woods dynasty. His daughter and her "lady friend" and what they were up to with those clubs (the photog WILL be pressing charges.) (06:00)
• Manatee Riding. Who are these bleeding heart who think that just because a species is endangered, they deserve to be left alone. (05:00)

35:00 - 39:00 commercials

• Getting rid of palmetto bugs (01:00)
• Greyhound 'executive bus lines' (01:00)
• Arrrr. Getting rid of the evidence for the past 30 years, to life. Merry Maidens. Arrr.(00:30)
• Drink PensaCola. Its brackish and taste like sticking a straw up an alligator. PensaCola. (00:30)
• Fred's firearms (01:00)

39:00 - 50:00 Betting sports sposored by: "Will Umakeit; 'You a betting man?'",

• Jai Alai, (03:00)
• Dog racing, (03:00)
• Horse racing at Hialeah (03:00)
• Handicapping and Knee Capping. Odds on political races with "this weeks mayor" (02:00)

50:00 - 54:00 commercials

• Getting rid of 8, 6, 4 and 2 legged household pests (01:00)
• Ride the "Short Bus". Taking you where you ought to go, for the weekend, or for the rest of your life. (01:00)
• Okeefenokee Swamp Tours, a favorite with tourists and "ne'er do wells" Come ride the wild manatee. (01:00)
• Fred's Firearms (01:00)

54:00 - 54:30 promo

• The 30 second spot for the "Disease of the Week"; this week, "Explosive Effluvia; Too disgusting to contemplate".

54:30 - 60:00 The local sports scene brought to by "Motel 6, we'd have left the light on for ya. Honest..." (a five and a halt minute demented rant)

• Ticket prices keep rising, attendance keeps falling because of rising because of energy prices, and yesterday, for an unimportant but heavily favoured local high school rival team, there was no gasoline available so the event was canceled... So what? Who cares? Its only some local game. (00:30)
• they have to play early because there are no more night games anymore,(01:00)
• its his patriotic duty but it doesn't mean he's got to like it (01:00)
• he's pissed off that the flights to and from the smaller airports are spotty, at best, and, (01:00)
• that the Pensacola (the "Pensa'koala Bears' ") team can't make the bus drive down to Miami from Pensacola. (Okeefenokee swamp is only passable in one spot because the land on the other side got washed away.) (01:00)
• FEMA is no more prepared than it was back when Now Orleans was hit the first of seven times at/since the turn of the century. (01:00)

Top of the hour again. ... More of the same (Its on a tape loop!)